When to seek help about memory

A woman in her fifties on the phone at home

Most people wait too long. The usual reason is not denial but uncertainty about whether what they have noticed is enough to bother anyone with.

Here is a way to think about it.

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Get help immediately

some changes are not a screening question and should not wait for an appointment.

  • Sudden confusion developing over hours or days. This is a medical emergency, not a memory problem. Infection, stroke, medication reactions and other acute causes all present this way.
  • Any sudden change in alertness or consciousness.
  • Memory change after a head injury, particularly with headache, vomiting or drowsiness.
  • Sudden difficulty speaking, understanding speech, or weakness on one side. Call your emergency number. These are stroke symptoms.

Gradual change over months is a different situation from sudden change over days. The second one is urgent.

Make an appointment

Book something in the next few weeks if any of these apply.

  • Memory changes that have been building over months and are getting worse
  • Repeating the same question or story within a single conversation
  • Difficulty with tasks that used to be routine, particularly finances or medication
  • Getting lost somewhere familiar
  • Other people have noticed and mentioned it
  • Withdrawal from company, hobbies or conversation
  • New mood or personality changes alongside the forgetfulness
  • Any concern about safety, including driving

you do not need to be certain before going. Working out whether there is a problem is the appointment's job, not yours.

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A Latina woman in her sixties folding laundry warm from the line

Watch and measure

some situations genuinely warrant watching rather than acting.

Occasional word-finding difficulty, misplacing things and then retracing your steps, or forgetting a name and recovering it later are ordinary at any age. If nothing is getting worse and nothing is interfering with daily life, watching is reasonable.

Watching works far better with something measured. "It seems about the same" a year later is a guess; two results a year apart is information. That is the case for establishing a baseline.

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If you are worried about somebody else

the calculation is different when it is not your own memory.

They may not have noticed, or may have noticed and be frightened. How to talk about memory concerns covers raising it, and preparing for a doctor's visit covers what to bring once they agree.

If there is an immediate safety risk, driving, medication or finances, that changes things and belongs with their doctor now rather than when they are ready.

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