Worried about a parent's memory?

An Asian man in his late sixties carrying two full shopping bags up steps

Worried About Your Parent’s Memory?

Start Here.

Adult children are often the first to notice changes in a parent’s memory.

However, being concerned about someone you love can put you in a difficult position. You want to help without making your mom or dad feel judged, frightened or as though they are losing independence.

The goal is to gather information to help start a conversation — and help your parent take the next step, if needed.

Changes in Memory Are Worth Noticing?

While occasional forgetfulness is a normal part of aging, persistent or increasing changes are worth more attention.

You might notice your parent:

  • Repeats questions or stories more frequently
  • has increasing difficulty remembering recent conversations
  • Repeatedly misses appointments or important dates
  • has trouble following familiar routines
  • Struggles to find familiar words
  • Becomes more dependent on others for tasks they previously handled independently
  • Seems noticeably different from their usual self when it comes to remembering or thinking
A white woman in her fifties sweeping a front step in morning light
A Black man in his sixties and his wife sharing a bench, coffee cups between them

Monitor a Parent’s Memory From Home

One of the simplest ways to begin is by establishing a cognitive baseline.

Memory Exam is a 10–15 minute verbal assessment that can be taken from home. Your parent answers questions by voice, following clear spoken instructions.

The results provide a snapshot of their cognitive health today and a baseline that can be used to track changes over time.

That can be useful when you’re wondering:

  • Has my parent’s memory changed?
  • How can we keep track of changes over time?
  • What should I tell their doctor?

Memory Exam is a screening tool, not a diagnosis. It provides useful information for a more informed conversation with your parent’s doctor or healthcare provider.

Talk to a Parent About Memory Testing

Start the conversation with curiosity and care.

If you’re bringing up the idea of an assessment, start with what you’ve noticed and what you would like to understand better.

Instead of saying:

“I think you’re having memory problems.”

you could try:

“I’ve noticed you’ve had a few more things to keep track of lately. Would you be open to taking a quick memory assessment so we have a baseline?”

or:

“I’d like both of us to have a better sense of where things stand with your cognitive health. Would you be open to taking a screening at home? It only takes about 10–15 minutes.”

Think of the assessment as a simple first step toward understanding where things stand today.

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A Latino man in his seventies with headphones on, eyes closed, listening

A few things that can help:

Choose a calm moment.
Bring it up when you and your parent have time to talk without distractions or pressure.

Talk about your observations.
Share the specific things you’ve noticed and why they caught your attention.

Keep the focus on staying informed.
A baseline gives you a starting point you can return to over time.

Give your parent a say.
Include your parent in the decision and let them choose when they’re ready to take the exam.

What you do with the result

the Memory Exam is a screening test. It can show whether someone's memory performance differs from what is expected for their age and background. It cannot tell you why, and it is not a diagnosis.

If the result suggests a change, the next step is their doctor. Bring the result with you. A concrete score from a validated screen is a far better way to open that appointment than "we have been a bit worried."

if the result is unremarkable, you have a baseline. Take it again in a year and you will know whether anything is moving, instead of relying on memory of a memory.

A white man in his sixties holding a tablet at arm's length, reading a result

Where to go next

if you have read this far, the useful next step is a baseline you can compare against later.

You may also want the early warning signs checklist to help describe what you have noticed, or how the exam works if you are wondering what your parent would be asked to do.

Buy a Memory Exam